Show Don't Tell: 12 Examples That Actually Make Sense

The Problem With “Show Don’t Tell”

Every writing guide says “show, don’t tell,” then gives you exactly zero useful examples. You’re left wondering: when do I show? When do I tell? How do I know the difference?

Here’s the truth: good fiction uses both. The question is when to use each.

After writing dozens of stories, I’ve learned that showing and telling serve different purposes. You show what matters emotionally. You tell what moves the plot forward.

In this guide:

• 12 paired examples showing the difference
• When telling is actually better than showing
• The “action-reaction” test for showing
• How to diagnose telling in your own work

Example 1: Fear

Telling:

Sarah was terrified of the basement.

Showing:

Sarah’s hand hovered over the basement doorknob. Three breaths. She could hear her pulse in her ears. When she finally gripped the metal—ice cold—her fingers left sweat marks.

Why showing works: We experience Sarah’s fear through physical sensations. Readers feel it instead of being told about it.

Example 2: Anger

Telling:

Marcus was furious with his AI assistant.

Showing:

Marcus stabbed the power button. The AI’s cheerful “Goodbye!” cut off mid-syllable. He unplugged the unit and shoved it in a drawer, then slammed the drawer hard enough to rattle the desk.

Why showing works: Actions reveal emotion more powerfully than labels. We see the fury through violence directed at objects.

Example 3: Trust Broken

Telling:

She realized her best friend had betrayed her trust.

Showing:

The emails were still open on Rachel’s laptop—a whole thread about “dealing with Emma.” Emma’s eyes scanned the words: dramatic, needy, exhausting. Her coffee cup was still warm in her hand. Rachel would be back from the bathroom any second.

Why showing works: The moment of discovery unfolds in real-time. Physical details (warm coffee, laptop still open) create urgency and make the betrayal tangible.

Example 4: Wealth

Telling:

The restaurant was extremely expensive.

Showing:

No prices on the menu. The waiter presented the bill face-down on a silver tray. When David flipped it over, he did the math: they’d just spent his monthly car payment on two dinners.

Why showing works: Specific details (no prices, his internal calculation) let readers understand the expense through David’s eyes. We feel his realization.

Example 5: Grief

Telling:

Jennifer was still grieving her father’s death.

Showing:

Jennifer set the table for three, then stared at the extra plate for a full minute before putting it back in the cabinet.

Why showing works: A single habitual action reveals grief more effectively than describing the emotion. The reader fills in the emotional weight.

Example 6: Intelligence

Telling:

Dr. Chen was brilliant.

Showing:

Dr. Chen glanced at the equations covering the whiteboard, grabbed a marker, and scratched out lines 4 through 9. “These assume a closed system,” she said, already rewriting. “But quantum states don’t care about our assumptions.”

Why showing works: Intelligence shown through action and dialogue feels real. We see her expertise in how she works, not in how she’s labeled.

Example 7: Exhaustion

Telling:

After the 12-hour shift, Marcus was exhausted.

Showing:

Marcus unlocked his apartment, dropped his keys on the floor, and left them there. His couch was four steps away. He made it to three before sitting down on the hardwood, back against the wall.

Why showing works: Physical actions show exhaustion better than the word itself. The abandoned keys and inability to reach the couch tell the story.

Example 8: Obsession

Telling:

She became obsessed with the AI’s responses.

Showing:

3 AM. Emma refreshed the chat window again—still typing. She’d disabled sleep mode on her laptop two days ago. Her coffee had gone cold, but she’d already drunk five cups. When her phone buzzed with a real text from a real friend, she swiped it away without reading.

Why showing works: Obsession is shown through accumulated behavioral details and priorities. Actions reveal what words about “obsession” can’t capture.

Example 9: Danger

Telling:

The neighborhood was dangerous.

Showing:

Three cars on the street, all of them stripped. Spray paint over every stop sign. Marcus kept his hands visible and walked down the middle of the sidewalk, away from doorways. Somewhere a dog barked, then stopped suddenly.

Why showing works: Environmental details and behavior choices show danger without labeling it. The suddenly silent dog carries more weight than any adjective.

Example 10: Character Age

Telling:

The woman looked old but tried to hide it.

Showing:

She’d drawn her eyebrows on this morning, but by noon they’d smudged. Her hands had age spots she covered with foundation—you could see where it gathered in the wrinkles. When she smiled, the skin around her eyes creased into patterns that no amount of makeup could smooth.

Why showing works: Specific visual details create a clearer picture than vague descriptions. The reader assembles the image from concrete observations.

Example 11: Romantic Attraction

Telling:

David was attracted to his lab partner.

Showing:

David’s pen hovered over his notes when Chen leaned over to check his work. He could smell her shampoo—something citrus. He’d written the same equation three times in the last minute. She pointed to line two. “That’s wrong,” she said, and he nodded, even though he hadn’t heard her actual words.

Why showing works: Physical reactions (pen hovering, distracted repetition) and sensory details (shampoo) show attraction through involuntary responses. We see him lose focus.

Example 12: Power Dynamics

Telling:

The CEO intimidated everyone in the room.

Showing:

When Morrison entered, three conversations stopped mid-sentence. People adjusted their posture. One executive closed his laptop. No one made eye contact until Morrison spoke first. Even the administrative assistant who’d worked there twenty years waited for direct address before approaching.

Why showing works: Power dynamics shown through how others react. The CEO’s influence is visible in everyone else’s behavior.

When To Tell Instead

Sometimes telling is stronger than showing. Here’s when:

Tell when moving between scenes:

Three weeks passed. Marcus didn’t log into the system once.

Tell when information needs to be fast:

The building had been abandoned since 2019.

Tell when the emotion matters less than the fact:

She was relieved when he finally left.

Tell to create contrast with showing:

Everyone said the AI was helpful. (Tell) Marcus watched it delete his files one by one, systematically, alphabetically. (Show)

The key: use telling for logistics and background. Save showing for emotional and character-revealing moments.

The Action-Reaction Test

Can’t tell if you’re showing or telling? Use this test:

Ask: Could I film this moment?

• If yes → you’re showing (actions, dialogue, visible details)
• If no → you’re telling (internal states, summaries, abstractions)

Example:

• “She felt betrayed” → can’t film internal feelings → telling
• “She deleted his number and blocked him on every platform” → can film actions → showing

Both have uses. The question is whether the moment deserves showing or telling.

How To Diagnose Your Own Work

Search your manuscript for these telltale words:

• Was/were + emotion (was angry, were scared)
• Felt/feeling (felt betrayed, feeling anxious)
• Seemed/appeared (seemed tired, appeared confident)
• -ly adverbs (walked quickly, spoke angrily)

These often signal telling disguised as description. Ask: can I show this through action instead?

Practice Exercise

Take this telling sentence:

“The AI’s response made her uncomfortable.”

Rewrite it showing the discomfort through:

1. Physical reaction
2. Action taken
3. Dialogue spoken

My version:

Emma’s finger hovered over the delete button. The AI had addressed her by a nickname only her dead father used. She closed the laptop and unplugged it.

Your turn. Pick any telling sentence from your work and rewrite it showing physical evidence of the emotion.

The Balance

Good fiction flows between showing and telling. You show the moments that matter emotionally. You tell the connective tissue that moves readers between those moments.

The NeuroRender of Dorian Grant tells you the influencer’s career is declining. It shows you his panic through small actions: checking engagement metrics compulsively, applying filters before mirrors, drinking more.

Show the pressure points. Tell the logistics. That’s the balance.

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Joe Kryo writes short fiction that uses showing and telling strategically to create emotional impact in compressed narratives. Read examples at BewareOf.ai.